Socially Awkward

I can't say if today was any good even if there weren't any lessons.

Today's Sports Day, you see. So every member of the school were brought to a stadium that had been built based on bad astronomical judgement. It was like crazy hot and I was dripping buckets of sweat even before I got to my seat. I'm not sure how long it took before the Sun finally rised high over in the sky because I was busy being some busybody at the ice-cream stall.

One of the guys there wouldn't let me take the scoop, even for a minute!

Seriously, I'm a much, much better ice-cream scooper than that one-layer bloke.

I had to battle him for a long time before he alas, relented and passed me the scoop.

The guy-(I call him Kai Kai)-was at my neck for everything. He kept on saying, "Oh, too much."

 "Smaller, smaller." And I was like, "Hey, this is such a rip off. You don't rip your customers off."

But I managed to slip a few perfectly big scoops of ice-creams to some lucky customers without him noticing...or at least I think he didn't.

Anyway, all the while we were there, I honestly couldn't help but noticed how...comfortable he was with me. Yeah yeah, I may sound like I'm being a bit too full of myself but hey, if it happened, then it happened. He was grabbing my hands to pry them off of the scoop. It doesn't seem like much to westerners but in the east? Girls and boys are no touchy-touchy. It's just too awkward.

But that dude, oh my God. Shortly after, he poked me in my stomach and I was very surprised by the fact he touched me. Even if it was only for a poke. No guys do that. 

I didn't even learn his full name till like what, a couple of weeks ago? I had to stop myself from frowning in utter shock. That's not even it yet!

Then later while I was absorbed with scooping the perfect ice-cream scoop, I felt hands over my shoulders from the back and he just shook me. Who does that?

I laughed it off like I always did when boys did strange things.

The teacher commented that he was trying to "tackle" me. It means court, I think.

And for a moment, I was stupid enough to believe it until I became quite convinced that he was merely infected with a 'touch disease'.

I was....disappointed to be honest but when I gave it a thought, I was taken aback by how sensible I had become. I knew that even if he was interested in me, I couldn't have accepted him.

It was going to be a waste anyhow. I still feel like shit, though.

I'm a girl. I like the feeling of being sought after. It makes me feel wanted.

But I've had enough, I guess. After that occurred to me, I practically ignored him for the rest of the day. But he wasn't the only one I was being cold to..

There's the other guy, Simon. And no. He's a whole other matter. A more complicated issue actually.

I was supposed to celebrate his belated birthday today with the others.

But because the ice-cream stall was being taken care of by Kai Kai and Jimmy-my classmate-there wasn't any break for them to go and celebrate Simon's birthday. The stall had to go on so I offered to stay behind. I gave the excuse that I wasn't all that famillar with the birthday boy anyway even though we were on the drama team together earlier this year. But that was it. I really didn't know much about him compared to the others. I thought it seemed quite reasonable but how the others viewed my choice as an act of disrespect...that I simply chose to ignore.

The birthday boy came over to the stall later. He bought everyone ice-cream which was graciously accepted, of course. I quickly moved away when I had an inkling that I wasn't included.

I was deadpanned the whole time and was deliberately looking away as I silently begged for customers so that I could fix my thoughts on ice-cream instead of that.

He was standing right in front of me, on the opposite side of the ice-cream cart. 

I heard him saying my name in a sentence cut short by God knows what and I just knew what he wanted to say. The ice-cream.

I hated it for a minute there.

Disappointment filled me when he didn't press any further. Save money, save my face, he probably concluded. I guess I didn't deserve it because I wasn't there at his belated celebration but still, the bite stung okay? You give it a try then.

My mood for the rest of the day immediately sank.

I reasoned with my own sanity that I am not a social outcast but merely a socially-awkward person.

It's true. Social outcasts usually refer to a more severe condition but in my case, I do have friends.

I just find it ridiculously difficult to understand them.

What's so big about birthdays?

I don't celebrate it and I only remember it every once in awhile because of the presents I might hope to get. Really.
God I'm weird.